Finally ... Finally Over

Yesterday at about 1835 I gave myself permission to finally walk away. After that last begging and pleading I realize that it is over. I thank you for the beautiful wonderful memories... I thank you for the lessons learnt..

I was holding on because of fear. I had messed up and I wanted a second chance to make it right... but that second chance never came.... and I give myself permission to accept that it never will... Yes the love is over and I must walk away...

From the two I have had, I have gained the tools I need to move on to love again... Now I have the experience of love.. the experience of heart break... to know what love really and truly is.. And now I am strong enough to know now...

Thank you N and thank you I... Thank you both for being on this journey with me,,,,,,,, Thank you...

Love Pains

www.lovesicklove.com

I keep falling back into you when I promise myself that I won't.... Today I did that again.... Today I allowed you to see my pain, my hurt and my emotions.

Today I cried for love... I cried because of my hearts pain... I keep begging you ... I keep trying to be with you... Y do I keep doing it? What is wrong with me? What is wrong with my heart?

Y do I keep waiting for you to let me go instead of me letting you go? Love won't allow you to love me..... I feel like such a fool... I keep allowing my heart to be beaten .... God knows that if I could stop this pain I would so easily do it...

I am so tired of this heart of mine. So tired of all the pain that this heart of mine goes through.... To love and to be so madly and so deeply in love with you N. This heart of mine takes the tears to me...I cry..

Why do you give me all these mixed signals that go with love? I do and you accept, Why? Why let me have hope in my heart when you know that love doesn't exist in your heart anymore.? Why this pain? 

Always There

www.chicagonow.com

Spoke with N yesterday.. Agreed to help her out.. It always come to that. I am always the helping hand. She reaches out when she wants something... The other times she is not there.. Never available for me...

N I let her... I let her

Cuts

www.emmakespatterns.com

Cuts.. It's the best solution to meaningless...

Memories of What Once Was

alvin-jude.blogspot.com

Yesterday in my thoughts I looked for you.  I found you in my thoughts. I saw you. 

I thought how wonderful it was to have love waiting. Have love at home with a hot meal... With love at home with a new movies to watch.. With love at home waiting with love.. With love at home that you meet at the door with a smile.

I found such sweet memories and I greatly appreciated that thought. In it all, I found my way home, I found that I understand more loss and letting go......

A Dress

www.ac-orleans-tours.fr

I went to pay bills yesterday and stopped in at elegance. I saw a dress and thought of you. I looked at it and thought of you as my baby. I smiled at me.

Knowing I still love and think of you.....